In An Ideal World

I recently took an online personality quiz, mostly because I was bored, from Play Buzz 

Which Keirsey Personality Type Are You?

The results:

"You're an idealist! Idealists are abstract and compassionate day dreamers, activists, writers, diplomats, counsellors and healers. You're the magician or medicine man of all the personality types. You're a deeply emotional and abstract thinker with cooperative and communitarian goals. You long for deep, meaningful relationships and you constantly contemplate how you can help the common good. You're guided by strong personal ethics, and you often have an ideology, cause, or way of viewing the world that you take very seriously. You're easy going until someone challenges your values, at which point you can be the fiercest of opponents. At heart, you're a natural healer with a great depth of empathy or those around you."

For those of you that don’t know me - which is probably all of you because even if you do know me, you don’t really know me - this is 100% accurate. Every single part. Let’s dissect, shall we?

1.) “You’re an Idealist!” a person who is guided more by ideals than by practical considerations.

I’m a dreamer. Always have been, hopefully always will be. That’s probably why I’m a writer. 

Why I can let my imagination run so wild that I have about zero percent grasp on reality. But, like, reality’s boring, yeah? Fantasy is so much more fun! My friends always tell me that they’re jealous of my dreams - my actual asleep, bedtime dreams, because they’re always so vivid. Usually both random yet relevant at the same time - 75% of what I dream about, when I wake up I can find the connection. Usually the people I dream about are people I know. The places I dream about aren’t. Sometimes I have a recurring nightmare - had it just the other night, in fact. I feel like nighttime dreams are directly tied in with life goal dreams. But I’m getting way beside my point here...must be the dreamer in me.

2.) “Compassionate day dreamers, writers, healers.”

I believe I’m compassionate, I’m just quite terrible at expressing it. It comes out immensely in my writing, though. In fact, I’ve learned a lot about myself from my writing, because I usually write romance fiction where I discover what my ideal (no pun intended) relationship would look like. That doesn’t mean it’s perfect - of course there’s conflict, or there would be no story. But the points I try to make in all of my stories are forgiveness and unconditional love. People have flaws, people make mistakes, but in order to exist we have to love and forgive. Again, this is something that’s much easier for me to do in my writing than in my real life, but that’s why I’m a dreamer, right? Because in my ideal world, I’d be able to do those things much easier. I also tend to write hurt/comfort stories, where one of the characters is upset about something - anything - and their significant other has this immediate need to fix it for them. I hate when the people I love are upset, but I hate more when it’s something that’s out of my control or something I’m unable to offer advice about because I’ve never been there...which is most situations, because, well, real life is boring.

3.) “Deeply emotional with cooperative...goals.” 

I might be a little bit emotional...again, something I express easier when I’m not in front of people. Something significantly devastating can happen in my life and I won’t tell my friends until a week later, because I would’ve cried if I had had to talk about it right away, and there’s nothing I hate more than crying in front of people. 

Either that, or I’ll play it off like I don’t care until I’ve bottled everything and it explodes. A dear friend very recently told me that I bottle things so that I don’t make other people worry about me. She might be right - she usually is. As far as the cooperation thing, well, I hate conflict and avoid it at all costs. If that means keeping my mouth shut because I don’t want an argument, then so be it. I also can’t stand confrontation and will make personal sacrifices just to avoid it in order to keep the peace. Nothing wrong with that, right? Not in an ideal world, anyway.

4.) “You long for deep, meaningful relationships.”

I have a hard time reading fictional books (this has a point, I promise). Sometimes they have a good message but a lot of the time I walk away feeling like I did after watching “Donnie Darko” - 

- what the hell was the point of that?! What a waste of time! I realize the hypocrisy in this since I am a fiction writer, but, it’s not like I’m going to be reading my books. I enjoy a good comedy film as much as the next guy, but nothing gets me like a nice drama that makes you feel something, that makes you relate to the characters and pull for them even when they mess up. My writing is all about meaningful relationships, about people that have known each other for a long time or just recently met but are enamored with each other to the point of taking bullets for one another (literally). In my writing, I have many of those relationships. In real life, only a handful, but those people are very dear to me and my loyalties lie with them.

5.) “Guided by strong personal ethics, have a...way of viewing the world that you take very seriously. Easy going until someone challenges your values, at which point you can be the fiercest of opponents.”

This is pretty accurate as well. While I am definitely a conflict avoider, I have a handful of subjects that I will always defend, like gay rights, women’s rights, and the fact that Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback to ever exist. If you do choose to challenge me on these things, please do it intelligently. “Tom Brady sux” won’t even warrant a response.

6.) “A natural healer with a great depth of empathy for those around you.”

I am probably a little too empathetic...I feel empathy for fictional characters in movies, for the people that are sung about in songs, for the characters in my stories even though I’m the one putting them through things, for animals, etc. It can actually be a burden and sometimes I wish I didn’t feel that way, because I’ll take on other’s emotions and pain.

I think it’s important to learn about ourselves. Online quizzes are probably not the most accurate, but when you find one that you feel makes sense, why not run with it? Explore things about yourself, learn who you are and why you’re that way. Figure out how to relate to other people who are completely different from you.

There’s a thing (I believe it's in Christianity, but you definitely don't have to be religious for it to make sense) called the 5 Love Languages, which is basically different ways each individual most comfortably expresses or receives love, and they don’t always have to be the same. The five are touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, and quality time. I am, 100%, words of affirmation, both giving and receiving. It used to be difficult for me to be around people who had a different love language than myself - like, why are you cleaning up the mess I made in the kitchen baking cookies when really all I need is for you to tell me the cookies taste good (haha, that was obviously hypothetical, like I’ve ever baked cookies a day in my life)? But once I learn what another person’s love language is, then I try to cater to it, as long as it’s someone I care about. If you’re curious about yours, there are a couple online quizzes you can take as well to find out. Mine has changed over the years, as well. I used to score very low on touch, and now it’s my second strongest (which is probably funny coming from an asexual). 

(Surprised I got this far without doing a One Direction gif? You had to know it was coming.)

That’s all for now. I have a post on religion I’m working on and I’ll do one on judgment vs. acceptance soon as well. Hope you’re enjoying this blog, I promise I’ll try and make it funnier in the future!

Once again, all credit to gif owners - none are mine.